ATP The Nightmare Before Xmas 3 -5 Dec 2004

a review Ben Waddington


This was the first UK ATP to be curated by nonmusicians (by Jake and Dinos Chapman) The immediatedifferences are obvious from the announced line up: 24 bands over three days rather than the usual 40odd. Perhaps there are more surprises once we arrive:those Chapman Bros do like to shock so! The firstnight begins late at 6pm with Wolf Eyes & isexcellent. Some really huge sounds fill the room foran hour: its never merely unlistenable though : WolfEyes know what huge sound should sound like: like afucked up oil rig. Lightning Bolt do their thingupstairs in the corner: as people climb the walls tosee, or record on 7-foot long video cameras. it’s thethird time I’ve seen them...yet I’ve never seenthem. Note: bring step ladders next time. Later, aMinuteman Duet plays , Watt’s bass just about fillsgaps left by Boons guitar. George Hurley’s haircut isunique in rock: a Tintin’s HC gay ice cream man. Itwill stay with me for a long time. You can choosebetween Peaches and Shellac now; but why should I haveto? With just 7 bands playing the opening day there’senough time to show everything with no overlap. Myloyalty to Shellac wins, even though I’ve seen themloads of times and they play pretty much the samesongs. They do, and it’s as good as last time too. Newsongs now seem familiar although there’s no sign of arecord release. One song has a long spoken, quietsection from Steve, which is the cue for morons at theperiphery (which is where I am: too fragile to get tooclose) to discuss their art school homework and howit’s Garry’s responsibility to buy washing up liquidfor the chalet. Steve’s haircut is just horrible now,a crew cut too close to too pointy a head makes himlook like a cappuccino monk. Surely the drummer canhelp a friend out here. Upstairs for ThrobbingGristle, still time for Barry to reschedule the band athird time to squeeze the last fiver out of the dealbut no, it’s going ahead. It nearly didn’t though:Cosey hurts her hand in a fall hours theperformance...she plays through the pain. Sleazy hashis Coil yeti mirror ball suit on (which hesymbolically sheds at the end) and Genesis dedicatesthe show to Geff. It’s slightly different to theAstoria show, some new instrumental pieces & reworkedfavourites like What A Day and Convincing People. Thewall of sound is back too: it’s clear that Cosey wasthe core of that harsh TG machine sound. Gen paces thestage clinking glasses with Sleazy and Chris andtries to catch the attention/s of Cosey, but she’s nothaving any. A CD of the show is available 10 minsafterwards: the first copies appear on eBay 1 minuteafter that. So a great nightmarish evening: shades ofprevious ATPs though with Lightning Bolt, Mike Watt,Shellac... are Jake and Dinos really fans? of music?Tomorrow its another late start with Little Wings:Will Oldham appears too! As inventor of the beard,he’s immediately at home with Little Wings, who tapefalse beards onto anyone who hasn’t grown one. DestroyAll Monsters have some nice moments too: it has badones too: nursery rhymes with guitar “shapes” from aman in a cord du roy jacket: fuck off. When they don’tsing / “vocalise” its good. Bird Blobs are theBirthday Party (Birthd Blobs), The Liars aren’t asgood as a music paper said they would be, Growing areexcellent: Frippanino sounds to an attentiveaudience, so exact! I vow to buy the CD this time anddon’t. Another reATP band... Comets on Fire very goodtoo, so many of them, it works better than it looks itwill. Miss Kittin plays some of her favourite recordson turntables upstairs and sings eeeooo over some ofthem, like Seefeel. Hair a bit messy, many tattoos,short tennis dress, like skagged up death metalMartina Navratilova ( a look Albini would go for).Essentially though, it’s someone playing records youdon’t know, and going ooo. Can’t be bothered with AndYou Follow The Trail Of Dead or whatever they’recalled, or Mercury Rev: 2 bands you like because theNME told you to like them, 5 years ago. Silver ZionThing OK but don’t have the epic nature other Godspeedspinoff brands have, other than the needlesslyextended 2 hour time slot. Do something else duringthis period, can’t remember what...possibly just watchTV. There’s a channel devoted to films enjoyed by theChaps, nothing that interesting though: Donnie Darko,Alien, Withnail & I, Taxi Driver &c all worthy filmsI’ve seen, many many times. Some zombie films too.Back from the Green Owl for 30 mins of Aphex Twin, nodeviation from his usual pattern: drum and bass withfunny sounds over it. Go back to chalet to listen toselected ambient works v2 instead. Head back againaround 3 for Russell Haswell / someone else pressingthe “shriek” button on their laptop. It’s a patheticsqueal though ...is this the Nightmare Jake & D hadforecast? A Jan Swankmeyer film I’ve not seen is ontoo. Coulda been on the telly instead of tonight’sRainman...Tomorrow wander around Rye’s mediaevalBelgian looking lanes in search of smugglers. Go tochurch belfry, need to squeeze through very narrowpassages and tiny wooden walkways to get there. Not abig church but cos Rye is on a hill some great viewsfor miles across the level terrain. Back to Camber forHood, who are just shit. A rumour circulates that LylePerkins, up next, is actually the new incarnation ofWill Oldham. It seems credible: no-one has heard ofPerkins, it’s a stupid name and there’s no way Billwould travel to England for one guest spot with LittleWings. It’s a classic Chapman Bros joke! Lyle Perkinsproves to be a faceless techno guy with a laptop. Goto see what the mysterious sounding ATP Cinema clubsetting up downstairs is. It must be special, with agood reason not to include the films on the existingTV channel. Its 20 - 30 chairs laid out in front of adigital projector and some films about music. It’s allblack and white, even though I have seen some of thefootage in colour... but certainly isn’t a lastminute effort to pad out suspicious gaps in theprogramme. unforgettable clip of Iggy Pop walkingacross the audience topless, fans support him byshins. A large tub of something is procured and flungaround the crowd. US commentator announces: “THAT”SPEANUT BUTTER!” Students talk throughout, leave forPelican: good sound, and basic sound can’t work outwhy it doesn’t quite do it for me. Sunn 0))) excellentas usual, saw them a few days earlier, same set butjoined by that Hungarian guy growling throughout. 0)))and Fall who follow are more tried and tested ATPsuccesses. Fall as usual, with the surprise inclusionof Mr Pharmacist. Violent Femmes I suspect are Chapselection: probably seemed radical 20 or 30 years agobut it appears to be pop music with extended musosolos. One drum solo appears to go on for tenminutes.. BobW4 here too with a nightmarish yellow zipup jacket, like a fucked up oil rig worker. Has a chatwith Little Wings, possible beard tips...(Bobinvented the beard in 2002) Finally it’s over. Thisshould really have all been rounded off by TG andShellac, and all the shitty acts put out of the way onFriday so I didn’t have to take the day off work onThursday and Friday. The big shock surprise, thegreat opportunity to make an impact by the youngBritish sculptors Jake and Elwood must be tomorrowmorning then, maybe a public unveiling of the “hugepaintings” donated to the ATP gallery, (surely Barrywouldn’t just keep them?) or the installation plannedfor the Re TG event. Or maybe the individual sale orgiveaway of all the burnt soldiers &c from “Hell” fromthe Saatchi warehouse fire (started by TG). Or thegiant puppet forms of the Chaps -12 foot tall childrenwith penis for eyes - stalking the grounds, knockingthe doors of campers hoping to have a lie in...themselves announcing the arrival of a 35 footsanta jetting snow, money and blood hundreds of metresinto the sky through a blow hole in his head like afucked up all rig. (“We don’t need it! It’s Xmas!”)Sadly they squander the opportunity. Just 10 weeks tilthe Slint ATP though...not a single act announced yetalthough the rumours suggest, Fall, Lightning Bolt,Carter USM, The Wonder Stuff and Pop Will Eat Itselfhave all being approached.Have a Merry, scary, fucked up, funny, blood drenched,sexy little Xmas!